12/29/17
It just takes a moment – any moment- to change your life.
My life changed, drastically, twice in four years, and in those moments, I changed. It didn’t matter if I wanted to change, it was going to happen anyway.
What I had control of was how was I going to respond to the change.
I have been blogging since the first day of my life moments. Since that time, I have learned lesson after lesson, living and focusing on each change, each moment, each time. With each lesson, I became a different me, a new me, someone who did not break down and fall into the incredibly scary and dark times, but someone who let each of those experiences come into my life, and learned from them.
From the first day of blogging, I left my heart on the page – I don’t edit, I don’t change what I write, I just let the words flow, and let them be. It is a wonderful feeling to just let my thoughts flow out through my fingers, and know that the written word is a catharsis for my heart. At first I was just trying to send out messages and communication, but eventually the writing took on a life of its own, and now, I just write.
The power behind the act of writing has long been documented. Research into brain recovery after injury, along with the powerful emotional impact of writing ones thoughts and feelings down has proven that tapping into our emotional well and spilling it out onto paper is a powerful healing tool.
I have had many emotional and trying moments during the last several year, all of them well-documented for the world to see.
I am now 11 weeks past my 15th surgery. I am ready to begin again, past cancer, past surgeries, and past the ongoing, never ending cycle of “recovery.” As I plunge forward into the new life that I want to live, I am committed to allow you to follow along. I have never hidden the truth about how difficult life has been since the life-altering moment on January 2nd, 2012, when my husband was almost killed.
I am not about to start now as I try to bring my body back to the fine tuned machine that it used to be; as I try to bring my heart and soul peace and calm; as I try to reduce the constant pain and fatigue that plagues my days.
I will not filter; I will not edit.
I admit that I do this with a touch of selfishness – I want to hold myself accountable to being the best me that I can be with the time that I have left in this life. I want to be a positive example; I want to help others; I want everyone to know that life can be great, no matter what you are facing.
Facing death, over and over these past two years has changed me. I understand my own self much more than I ever did. I have seen my limits, I have faced my own mortality.
For all of us, it should not take death for us to find the depths of who we are. We have the power to find ourselves without it being on the brink of the end.
Is today your moment to step forward into your best life?
Walk with me. I am here, walking with you.
Dying, To Live Your Life.