I find that I post less when I am feeling better.
I find that I do not want to share only negative, so I only post the more positive.
Today I find myself back in the hospital, with another infection, and wondering how I ended up here.
Truthfully I KNOW how I ended up here – I went to see oncology because of some new pain on my chest wall, which needed to be checked out. But when checking that out, they noticed I had cellulitis brewing again on my left breast, and just like that, I am back on IV antibiotics.
Although tired, I feel fine, just a bit pucky from the IV meds.
I preach that life is meant to be lived, not survived. When we live our life, we are engaged, curious, excited and intentional. I work every day to live that life.
Today is no different. I feel good, I am working (a few floors higher than my office) and I will be back tomorrow.
That does not mean that I am not frustrated, sad and worried. Why these infections? Why is my body not doing what I want it to do? What is the new pain? How long can I deal with the chronic pain without having to add pain medication?
Today is another wonderful day – it is sunny and warm, and I plan to get out of here tonight and go watch another soccer game. Today I am upright, able to do some of the things that make my day complete, and I am hopeful for tomorrow.
Thank you for your prayers and messages. I will be fine.