After living the last year with a cancer diagnosis I am never surprised when things change. The last few weeks have been different in that doing the daily day-to-day has become difficult.

There is the ongoing pain, mostly in the joints of my legs, knees and feet, although sometimes my shoulders and hands like to join in the fun.

There is new weight gain which is odd for me, which isn’t helping the giant abdominal scar feel any better.

I’m constantly cold – so cold that I am not warm even with the heat in my car on high. I just don’t feel real great.

I had my pre-op visit today – I don’t see my GP very often since I have so many other doctors involved in my care.

Oncology. Gynecology oncology. Radiation.

Thankfully he knew me “before” and was actually the doctor that first called to tell me I had breast cancer. We talked about how I have been feeling and reviewed my recent labs. He decided to check them again, both of us hoping my white count would be normal.

All my labs were normal except for my thyroid, which is over double the normal number.

For me that is great news as it explains all of my symptoms, and eliminates any new real bad things. Hopefully an adjustment to my meds will fix all of this stuff so life can settle down before my surgery at the end of May.

Today just proved that although I do not let cancer run my life, it is still in the back of my mind. As I hear stories daily about others fighting for their lives I find it hard to complain about pain and feeling cruddy.

Every now and then I let a little whining loose.

I’m done now.