It is a Friday night and the evening is quiet, even with four kids in the house. It was a productive day for me, and that always makes me feel better. Trying to walk through the crazy process of disability paperwork, status checks, and medical documentation and signature forms can be daunting, and even though I have lived in healthcare paperwork for 20 years, I still want to put it off for as long as I can.
I was really lucky this week to meet a new friend – someone that has known me from the periphery of my world because she is walking the same path as I am; living in the recovery world with a husband that is working his way back from a brain injury, and dealing with small children.
To me, it is obvious when someone truly understands this situation – the unknown, scary and sometimes isolating world of care giving – and when no one in the conversation flinches when we use the words “exhausted” “can’t remember” “why” and “feeling lost.”
I know that our husbands feel these same emotions – we see it in their faces, and we know it is in their hearts. Having parallel feelings in this situation doesn’t always translate the same however, and there are days when emotions overload everyone, which leads to a meltdown of one or both parties.
I have learned that there are no simple answers these day – there isn’t a suggestions, a plan, a therapy or a doctor that can help all of us. We all walk through each day differently, with different reactions to similar experiences, just hoping to fall into bed at the end of the day and find some joy in the last 24 hours. Finding the connections of others that “get it” can be a saving grace; at times it feels like the only grace.
Don’t feel that you are alone – take a chance and ask a question. Many of us are on the same Facebook groups looking for support, answers or just someone living in the same moments. Take the time to reach out, and get together. Those times of being with someone else that truly understands how you feel are priceless, and can be the best therapy imagined.
Find a friend – I know I did this week.

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