There are days that I feel guilty for not writing an update. I remember so many nights after returning from a long day at the hospital. Finally climbing into bed, only to realize that I had not done an update yet.
I wanted people to feel connected to Frank, to know that we appreciated each kind word. That each prayer and each thought that came our way means a lot. The only way that I felt that I could express that thanks was to write. I write to keep people informed of how he was doing. That way, I give people just a glimpse into what our days were like, and how we were doing.
Even though that level of anxiety about posting has decreased, I still feel that responsibility to keep the blog updated. Also, to encourage others that are living in their own extreme emotional moment. Like moments of fear and worry, of uncertain outcomes and futures. Not all of these moments are wrapped around medical or extreme family events. Although for so many people, that is their big focus right now.
The reason for my lack of writing has been focusing on my family. The one thing that I preach about so often is finding the focus in the things right before you. Instead of focusing so far outward that you miss the joy and greatness before your eyes.
Our family has changed recently, both losing a member and adding a member. Many of you know that we recently traveled to OH after Frank’s Dad passed away. This past weekend we traveled back to OH, and following the service yesterday, we began our trek back home, with Frank’s 16 year old brother returning with us. He will be joining our family for the last few years of high school, and making plans for whatever he would like to do with his future.
Ever changing is the name of the game. Changing families, changing paths, changing lives – things are in constant flux around us. What I try to do is notice and appreciate the changes as they occur, and look at how these changes make our lives better.
The great part is that even if the changes are devastating, something is often put in our path that we can appreciate in our journey. I will attest though that sometimes it is really hard to find the good in the scary.
August is a funny month for so many families. It is the gearing back up for school, children whining because summer is almost over, and parents silently applauding for the return of more routine schedules. We are no different on that front, except that there is just one more child to make sure we have organized. We are thankful we can be a resting place for him. I know that the kids are very excited to have a “big brother” in the house.
I look forward to getting back to the normal routines of life for the next few weeks. The list of what needs to be done is always there to challenge me, but the true challenge is always making sure that the focus is in the right place – not on the worries of the day, but on the things that make life good. The worries will still be there, but they do not need to be the focus of each thought.