The best plans sometimes just fail – my goal this weekend was to get a lot of cleaning done, get a new post up on the website, send the book in to the editor, hang out with the kids, and to have a fun Happy Easter. Well, very little of that actually occurred.
I did get to spend some time with the kids, which is always fun. Some card games, coloring and dyeing eggs was really fun. Sunday started out well with the egg hunt, basket review and watching Rise of the Guardians. But a good start to the day doesn’t always mean a good end to the day. It is always interesting in hindsight to look back and see how personal feelings can just push you into a sad place.
I am tired. Period.
Being tired brings with it a host of issues, including not having the energy to do simple things, let along the complex organization that is needed to keep things moving smoothly in this household. This has led to getting very sick, and now barely being able to function the last two days.
I know better. I know to not let myself get so run down that I impact my health. I want to believe that I can hold everything together, that things are fine, and that I can do it all.
But I can’t.
I hate that realization because it makes me feel like a failure. And that, my friends, is how I get myself in this place every now and then. Being sick forces me to rest, and be still, which is required every now and then to recharge. I enjoy my “still” time, but I rarely make time for it. My Tuesday and Thursday yoga date with my friend is clearly not enough. But planning more time to be still seems impossible again.
This day will move on like each day does. Very little will get accomplished today since acute laryngitis and exhaustion does not lend itself to getting much done. I hope that these few days of sitting still will be helpful for some reason. I am not a good sitter, and an even worse sick person.
I hope that all of you are well and healthy. Being sick sucks, not just for me, but for everyone in the house. When the kids send you texts giving you hugs and hoping you feel better, you know things have gotten bad.