It is December 28, 2013 – in any other part of my life I would call this the end of the crazy holiday season. The time where we try to spend some time with my parents (Happy Anniversary to them – 50 years today!!) watch fireworks over the ice, and wind back down and get ready for the return to school, and the deep dark part of winter.
Any other year, that would be the plan.
We are doing most of that this year, especially the anniversary part, but the other piece that is different is the realization that we are coming up to another anniversary, another mark on the calendar that places us another year past the date of change.
That date that lives in my mind as hard, scary and unnerving. I admit that I do not live my life wrapped up in that day, but as it creeps closer again this year, I begin to notice more worry in my heart, and more senseless fear about things that I cannot control.
I know that the psychology people in the group will tell me that it is natural to worry about that day in our lives. It was a big day, a day of incredible fear and change, but I am not one to sit and worry. I try not to dwell on that day, but it does feel different again this time of year.
As we get ready to settle in to the next year of recovery, we both wonder what this year will bring. I know that Frank is ready to have something to do, and going back to school for a few classes towards his paramedic degree will help ease the doldrums of winter. At least he will be out with people and have something to do while he waits another year to see if he can return to work as a police officer.
I, on the other hand, have so many possible things to do that I need to sit down and figure out a game plan for the things that are most important. Family will be first, but getting back into the land of working and making a difference is important. December has been a busy month of things not directly related to that process as much as I would like, so a new focus of energy will be brought to my universe starting January 1st – funny though, it seems to be here already, so I may be starting a bit early.
I am really looking forward to coaching individuals through some of the tough times, and speaking with more groups and education opportunities over the next year. I know that this is where I belong, and as each appointment is set, it brings me one step closer to where I should be spending my time.
With others, giving back what as given to me.
It is my work, it is my plan, it is my passion.
I know it is for so many of you as well, and you struggle making it happen. My prayer for you and the new year is that you can find that passion and make it come to life. We all have one, it just takes the energy to embrace it and make it happen.
Here is to you making it happen for you this year.