I think that is the best way to describe how I feel right now. I talk with others that have marked an anniversary of some sort - a divorce, a death, a trauma or a life change. When someone walks through their own day, you start to understand what that might look like on the outside, so it is easier to identify what it feels like on the inside.
The date will not mean a change for us in any way - school will be starting, I get to meet with an amazing woman who I admire a great deal, and I will be forging ahead with my new work plan for 2014. Frank will surely be preparing for school, going to the gym, and making sure that our checkbook is neatly balanced.
The kids will be in school, and it will truly be JUST ANOTHER DAY.
But it still feels different; it makes me feel unnerved, irritated, and yes, restless.
There is nothing that I can do to make it go away, and what I will do is acknowledge that it is here, let it move by, and breath easier once it goes by us. It is a day, a day in the life, but a day that does remind us that life is so short. Too short to be wrapped up in drama, or by surrounding yourself with people or work that is not fulfilling. This is what drives me to do more, to be more, to help others, and to be there for those that may need me. Life may not be the same, but that doesn't mean that life is worse.
It means that life is different now. And different can be great - it is all in the perspective.