Lean in, lean out

The world that we all live in is fast and different and changing all of the time.  The world that WE live in is also fast, and changing, and very different than it was BEFORE.

It is the word BEFORE that draws the line in the sand for us, as it does for so many living their lives following a brain injury.  As I read the posts in the many support organizations, law enforcement and PTSD groups, and the private TBI groups that I belong to, I realize that there are so many people that live where we do; living the life of AFTER.

It is not always an easy place to be, and if you are here long enough, BEFORE starts to fade away, and AFTER becomes the real.  But there is always a longing for BEFORE, like a long lost memory, and even though we may not be able to always pull out the exactness of then, we long for that time, and those people.

I pray for my friends that are living life in the AFTER; I am thankful that we have many friends that live here with us, and can understand when there is a hard day, a sad day, a day that we long for different.  These people can bring us back to the surface when we feel like we are drowning, even if just the day before, we were the ones pulling them back up.

It is a symbiotic relationship here in the AFTER – one of love and joy, fear and pain, (sunshine and rain!! Sorry, I just had an 80’s flashback).  We lean in, we lean out, but we are always leaning with someone next to us, someone ready to push us back to center when we need it.

During this month of thanks, I am thankful for those that keep me at center, even the many that have no idea that they do it all the time.  If people just do the right thing, be the gift that they were meant to be, they right those around them without even trying.  For that, I am thankful – for them, I will always be there to lean in on.

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