July 5th, 2012

Have you ever tried to walk backwards on a treadmill?  I have, and it is not easy.  Even if you are a runner, able to rack up mile after mile, day after day, a change in direction can easily cause you to lose your step, falter, and quickly become tired.  I suggest that if you have the opportunity, take a few steps backwards on a treadmill, and step into the shoes of Officer Mackall today.  Because that is what he had to do today during his session of physical therapy.

Walking is relatively easy - one foot in front of the other.  Shoes on, shoes off, it doesn't really matter.  He gets to where he wants to go without noticeable difficulty.  But those quick steps, those reflexes that allow one to go from walking to running in a heartbeat, a quick turn to the left, those are the steps that falter.  It seems like so much time has gone by, and those steps are not "normal", and if there is one thing that Frank wants, it is to just be "normal."

The questions last night, as we drifted off to sleep, was a profound one.  "Will I ever be back to the way I was before the accident?"

What do you say to that question that does not sound lame.

I don't know, I can't predict the future?
You have made so much progress, let's focus on each day?

Every answer sounds lame to me.

I told him "I Believe so."

Because I believe that we have a purpose - I have to believe there is a bigger purpose for us, because if not, if we are to struggle so desperately for no reason, how do we go on each day?

I believe that this accident has a reason, I just wish sometimes that I knew what it was.  Because the threads to hold it all together are many.

Sometimes too many.

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