Some days I just don’t know; not that we ever truly know what is in store for us, but sometimes, I really wonder.
The weekend was fine, rainy one day, sunny the next, with a retreat and some soccer games wedge into the usual grocery store and kid management. I am never too sure how to take the weekends, and always unsure about what the next week will bring, especially as things get closer to the retest date for Frank. I have decided that day to day is good, and working towards the completion of some projects is good.
Beyond that, right now, I am willing to just let it be.
There is so much that we cannot control, so much that we need to just let happen. But letting things be, and letting them go is such a difficult place to live sometimes. At my retreat this weekend we talked about Mary and Martha, two women in the Bible that lived life very differently - one doer (Martha), and one listener (Mary). Truly, was one better than the other? One life lived better than the other life lived? We cannot all be Mary, and we cannot all be Martha – someone has to do, and someone has to listen. However, it is clear that balance is the key.
Balance is so hard to find sometimes. And when you add worry or fear into the mix, well then it is just a ball of crap.
So, the search for balance, and avoidance of crap, appears to be the plan for the week. I have set some goals for myself, and I pray that what I do is right for the path.
But right now, I’m just not feelin’ it. The path. Stupid path. Sigh……
Good thing there is chocolate.