April 12th, 2012

Last night we attended the first of several benefits for Frank - this one planned by so many of the law enforcement personnel that assisted at Frank's accident, and worked with him daily while he was on duty.  We arrived with our friend Jason, and were welcomed at Celt's Pub by many friendly, familiar faces.  Being the nervous nelly that I am, I spent the night checking in with Frank to ensure he was okay, that he did not have a headache, that he didn't need anything.  I find that I have been better at letting him be on his own in the house without me hovering, but out in public that tendency comes right back. I will have to get him out of the house without me soon so I can break that habit.  I know it drives him nuts.

During the  evening, many officers and friends came to greet the two of us.  Frank became more comfortable throughout the night asking questions if he could not remember someone's name, or what department they were from.  I think I would find it difficult to be in a room full of people, having the spotlight on you, knowing that it may be hard to remember people.  He did just fine, and commented later that he felt that the people that he should have known he could remember - maybe not every name, but most of them, some after a quick prompt.

The girls selling bracelets were very special, and I was so glad to get my own personal bracelet made just for me.  I carried it with me all day today.

The goal of the evening was to spend some time with the people he works with, and he got to do just that.  Much to my dismay, he also climbed a ladder to sign the car hood hanging from the ceiling.  I will post that picture later on this site as well.

We are so thankful to be surrounded by people that are so caring, and so tied in to the brotherhood of law enforcement.  Even on the days I begin to have doubt, and struggle with my faith of him returning to work, someone else is there to push that doubt away, and to redirect my worry to the goals that have already been reached, and how far we have come in such a short period of time.  I am thankful to all of you that keep me on this path of strength, because some days it is a very difficult place to live. Holding on and trusting that it will be okay, and trusting that you can completely change the entire focus of your life to something different, and trust that it will be okay, takes a tremendous amount faith.  I did not know I had it in me, even when I recently witnessed a peer do just that.

It is my time to trust, and I am trying really hard to live and breath that trust every day.

On a different note, I got to see Frank back in action today as he worked in the shooting simulator at Woodbury PD.  I was outshot again by Mackall, which is good I guess - you don't want your wife to outshoot you, at least I know Frank would not be happy about that.  I noticed that he was even more relaxed this time while shooting, and his accuracy continues to improve.  Now we get to work on the speed of pulling his gun from the holster - who knew I would find even MORE goals to work on each day.

Poor guy - seriously, when you see him, ask him if it is fun having a wife that is a therapist. He will tell you emphatically the answer is no.  All I do is keep adding goals to each day - the list is a long one, but if I am going to be home with him, I have to do something with my time.  And God made me a therapist for some reason - I guess we now know why.

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