April 10th, 2012

Each day continues to bring different challenges, and different moments of laughter.  Memory things can be such a challenge at times, and I sometimes forget that maybe the way he will do something is not the they might need to be done. I am trying really hard to step back a little bit and not hover over him all of the time.  I have to let him figure things out, and that is very hard for me to just let him be - I am helpful, and it is hard to not be helpful all of the time.

There are times when I am so taken aback by what Frank says that I laugh out loud - who knew he was so funny?  I think some of it is due to him having much less of a filter than he normally does - and boy, I will warn you, the filter is definitely a little thin these days.  Even with that, he seems to have a little bit of a relaxed humor, different than in the past.  It is almost like having a different Frank, almost like talking with a brother or a close cousin.  At times it is an odd feeling to hug the person I know, but talk to someone who is not quite my husband.  I am not sure what to do with that feeling.

Another day at the gym today with fatigue hitting a little earlier, but Frank working with heavier weights today.  Still amazes me that he can bench almost 200 lbs - much less than in the past, but still almost double my weight.  He is goal directed, and wants to be at the gym, so it is easy to take him there, and for me to work along side someone that is so motivated.

Another day at therapy tomorrow - another day to get through.  A special day tomorrow, as we join a group of people that are responsible for Frank being where he is today.  I look forward to thanking them again, in person, not at the hospital, with Frank by my side.  And I know they are looking forward to seeing their partner, friend, and colleague outside of the confines of the hospital, relaxing with one another, taking time to just catch up with each other.  It is going to be a great night.

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