I am spending my quiet day (a day with only three kids in the house instead of four – I will explain number four at a later date) trying to catch up on some reading, doing some research on brain injury websites, and learning how to offer my services as a ghost writer online. All of these have made for an interesting afternoon, peppered with the routine “Lis, come here” from Officer Mackall requesting my assistance or opinion on whatever he is working on today.
I am trying to finish a power point presentation for a conference in September that is focused on brain injury. It is interesting to try to put together this presentation – most of my presentations have been dual conversations regarding trauma and law enforcement, or caregiver fatigue. Trying to focus on only the brain injury portion has been a unique experience, and I am glad that I have been given the opportunity to put some of my focus on to this part of our lives.
You might think that Frank’s brain injury would be at the forefront of our universe – to be honest, these days I would say that the brain injury is only a small portion of the day, only recently coming up more often as Frank begins to gear up for re-starting therapy and preparing for his next neuropsych evaluation in the fall. I think eventually, with any time of life altering injury, life has to move past in the focus of the injury. I know our hope has always been on the recovery, but these days, living each day without it being the primary focus seems to be more important.
We have been so blessed to receive letters and emails every week from other people living their lives with a brain injury. Many of them talk about the day to day living with symptoms, but they also talk about how life can be lived without it being focused on the injury. Instead, life is focused on what they love – kids, animals, reading, hiking – whatever their passion may be.
I think sometimes it is hard to find what you truly love unless you are given the opportunity to move past all of the day to day things that can interfere with that discovery. Often times, I can’t, or I don’t have time, seem to get in the way of those discoveries.
I would never wish this life experience, the way our life changed based on a scary, heart-wrenching experience, on anyone.
But I would love for everyone to be given the time and the inclination to look beyond what they see in their everyday life, and see what COULD be, what is possible, when not distracted by life and its craziness.
What COULD be is always such an interesting possibility….