I sat down this morning to write a blog and I am stuck. It rarely happens that I do not have the ability to sit down and write something about how things are going, where we are, or what is new, but today, I am stuck.
I spent the morning working with many different people in Ohio trying to organize the Memorial Service for my husband’s father. Although a simple ceremony, it still takes a lot of phone calls and organization to put everything together. I am glad that we can be some help this way, since we did not get to Ohio very often to be with his family. It has been a pleasure having Frank’s brother here with us visiting the last few weeks. He spends a lot of time with our children, and being 16, I think just hanging out after the passing of his Dad was just what he needed for a bit.
I find that I have been spending a lot of time really busy, but not feeling like I am accomplishing anything. I have such a short attention span sometimes – one minute I am happy with what I have done and feel like all of my signs of support are there, the next minute I feel like I haven’t done enough that day. I can tell you that it is ridiculous, that there is so much that gets done in a day that I find it crazy that kids actually get fed instead of just dropped off at the 12 places they all need to go every day. I am a firm believer that activities quadruple in the summer just to make parents wish for school to start.
I have a presentation tonight and I am looking forward to it – the best part of the day that is not spent with my family is spent presenting information and having discussions with people in the community. I feel so lucky to be able to share the story of how we lived through a family trauma. Tonight is a discussion about TBI and concussion, and my role is to talk about caregiver burnout. I find it ironic some days that I talk about this, especially when I have personally crashed, but I think that is part of the message that has the most important.
As a caregiver, we can crash, but we can also get back up and start again.
And that is okay sometimes.
Today, I am going to take a break and go outside and pull weeds. Yes, I know it is really hot. But sometimes you have to reconnect yourself with the things that bring you peace – and that is mine.
Wishing you all some peace today.