05-23-13

Funny when a day, is just a day.

I think it has been so long since I have had a day that I just went through without feeling like there was pressure, push and worry that when I was at the end of today, playing Frisbee with the boys at the park, it struck me.

This is what a regular day feels like.

I won't say there were no issue or things to be worried about - trust me, a meeting at school, therapy and another huge car repair bill made it for stressful - but it was the normal of the stress, and not the worry of the head injury that was part of the day.

I am not sure what to make of that.  I am sure there have been other days like this one, and maybe I just missed it.  I have been getting more sleep, not nearly as busy, and focusing on small successes and trying to let the worries go.  And maybe that is working for me.

The end of the day was where I really noticed the normal.  A race to Woodbury and back for an early soccer practice, a quick dinner, then Frank left for his softball games, and the boys and I went for a quick ride to the park with the new coveted Frisbee.  This Frisbee is special because it goes long distances with minimal effort, and using it at the house on a street full of trees has proven to be hazardous.  The park, with its wide open fields, was perfect.

We tossed it back and forth, racing across the field to grab those thrown too far, or not far enough.  It was fun.  It was great to see all of us jump and miss.  It was amazing to see Tommy stand just underneath it, and catch it around his neck.  It was amusing for me to keep missing it right when I thought I had it.

And it was easy.

An easy end of the day.

Two haircuts, two showers and one off to bed.  The house is quiet, and I am free to write an update in our world.

I am not sure what to think of this peace in my heart.  Part of me wants to hold it tight, for fear it will escape me.  The other part of me says to trust it, that it is here to stay, as was promised so many months ago, in a whisper in my heart, that it would all be okay.

Someday.

I know you thought I would just breeze by that little statement about Frank playing softball.  Well, I won't.  He is back playing with his old team this year.  We have only been down to see one game, and we froze our butts off.  Since the games are later, and the boys have school in the morning, we did not go down for the games tonight.  Frank hits, catches and plays again.  But he will tell you, it is not the same.  As someone that was an athlete, and that was proud of his ball playing skills, these new struggles are hard to deal with - and frustrating.  I have added to you list of activities this summer batting cages and catch with the boys.

All it takes is a little practice.  We haven't found anything yet that we can't recover.  We just haven't worked on this yet.

Patience Officer Mackall.  Patience.

It will all come in time.

 

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