Amazing to look outside and see snow again on the ground this morning. Friends only 15 miles away are sending me pictures of their green lawn. Wasn’t it just a few short days ago that we were in flip flops and shorts, sitting on the deck in 70 degree weather?
I try to look at each day as a gift – regardless of the circumstances, the weather, or the schedule, each day we are given is an opportunity to be joyous and purposeful. There are times that this is hard to maintain – life is not always full of rainbows, and there are no guarantees for any of us. We have to make our own life, our own joy, plans and motivation.
A few days ago, a gift arrived in the mail for us. Two hard cover books, with Frank’s picture on the front of both – Volume One and Volume Two of Frank’s Caring Bridge site. I was overjoyed to crack open the first book, and see our journey, just as it was online, brought to our home for us to keep forever. All of my posts, all of your posts, all of the pictures – printed into two huge volumes. Frank has already begun to read through them, and he was happy to learn that he may not have 3 months worth of memory missing. As he has read through the story again, he realized that he remembers some of the events that happened around mid-February.
What a blessing for him. I cannot imagine the fear and worry that losing three months of my life would bring to me.
Those two volumes SPEAK volumes to me just by walking past them sitting on the table. I know that they represent a huge part of our life; moments that I am amazed that we were able to live through, laugh through, and survive. The books are our testament that you can survive trauma – but there are days that just surviving is not enough. I want to be able to LIVE through this, not just survive it.
And that takes a lot of work.
I don’t see my life on any particular path, but I am told that I AM on a path of support and education. Instead, I feel like I am just doing what I should as things present themselves to me. If someone asks us to come and tell our story, we do. If someone approaches us to talk about how we lived through the “Knock on the door”, we do. I feel that we are doing what we are meant to do with our life right now. Sometimes it is hard to explain, but I live each day and moment by following my heart, and by doing what we feel is the right thing.
I just want to give back. We have been given so much, and I want to try to repay each blessing we received, and continue to receive.