As I have said many times, there are days when I am just surprised at where my life has gone, and what I do with my days now, compared to the life I was living just 14 short months ago. By no means do I feel that these months have been easy - in actuality they have been the hardest in my life, and probably in any of our lives. But by living through this incredible storm, I have been given a different life opportunity, one that I have chosen to embrace, instead of ignoring it because it might be too hard.
Earlier today I was working on this website, and I found SPAM posted here. Now, that happens all the time, I usually just delete it. But this one particular spam was interesting because right before the link for the NFL jerseys that they were selling was a short paragraph about what a whiner I am and how there was nothing to offer from this website.
Wow - even if it was SPAM, it was still s slap in the face.
But it did get my attention, and I wanted to ensure that I had not hit a new wall of sad and self-pity. I think there are days, especially lately as we have all been trying to regroup and plan after the news of an even longer extended recovery period, that life just hits you hard, and you are not sure what to do about it.
I am a doer, and so is Frank, so when I ask him what he wants to do now, with this time we have been given, he tells me he will do what he has been doing every day - just keep going.
And keep going with a purpose in mind.
I think those are the biggest difference that I see in our life that we did not have before - purpose and conviction.
I rarely wake up in the morning and wonder if things will be okay, or if we are in the right place. I am firm in my belief that we are where we are supposed to be. I also believe that Frank has the gift of determination, and that he will give 100% to this recovery process, no matter how long it takes, or whatever crazy tasks we give him to do to get there.
I think what is different for me now is that I pay attention to the things and people around me a lot more. I do not get wrapped up in those tedious day to day things that can so easily bog any of us down. Instead I do my very best to listen to others, to read things thoroughly instead of skimming them, and when something looks interesting, I investigate it. Today I received an email with a suggestion to take a look at a conference that was being presented here in the Twin Cities. I reviewed the conference and it appears to have very close ties to my presentation. I sent an email asking if I can get more information - something that I may have just let me pass by a year ago. I also recently added Monavie to my family, trying to improve our nutrition and health as we start this new year. Something else that I may have passed on a year ago.
My thought for today is to goes back to what I tried to do right after Frank's accident - slow down, breathe, and pay attention to what is most important to me. By doing that, I walked out of the eye of the storm, and survived. By continuing to do that, we are repairing the damage, and finding out what we can do together as a family, one step at a time.