I really should be sleeping, but as I was reading before bed a funny memory came back to me.
That has been happening more and more lately, as days from a year ago drift by, and I recall where we were just one year ago. What I find happening at times is the memories of that time that choose to float back to me are often moments of joy and humor, not the fearful trying times that were so often a part of each day. I believe that my heart has made a choice - a choice to remember the many moments of blessings, instead of the scary moments of doubt.
One day in January, I decided to stop in at work to see my team, and to update them on how Frank was doing. I was very close to this group of people, and I was looking forward to having some time away, even for an hour, from the hospital. I was dropped off at work by a Savage officer, letting him know I would be about an hour. I spent that hour talking about Frank, remaining my detached, clinical self, which was always easier than thinking like a wife those days.
As my hour past quickly by, I received a phone call. "My ride" I told my team, laughing as I tried to explain to them the thin blue line of protection and vigilance that I was living with those days. Minutes later a police car arrived at the back door. One of my (then) new officer friends shuffled me out the door - I glanced back to my team sitting with amazed looks on their faces.
As I was escorted to the car, and my door shut for me, my phone began to chime with text after text message.
"wow, is he cute!"
"He opened your door for you!"
"Is he single?"
I laughed out loud as they kept coming. The officer, turned and smiled. I told him that all of those texts were for him. Apparently he had a new fan club at my workplace. I know it probably embarrassed him a bit, but it was wonderful to me that other people got to see how supported we were during that time.
I retold that story to Frank tonight. As the memory returned to me, I realized it was another one that Frank did not have.
We just keep filling in those empty spots. Glad I got to give him a great one tonight.
Another few weeks of Caring Bridge I think. I am still not ready to shut it down, but updates are still posted on the new website. Www.lisabethmackall.com. You can leave comments there, and also register with me to keep getting updates. I respect your privacy - your info will not go anywhere from my website.
Stay warm my friends - only a few more months of winter!