Tonight, I had five minutes to myself. I know, an amazing few moments for me; it was a good five minutes even if I had to chase everyone away from me to get it.
During that time, I read an article that brought life back into focus for me. This article, even as short as it was, summarized what I have been trying to express this entire year. I was so pleased to see someone else understand my perspective, but also saddened to know that someone else had such a horrible life alteration that it brought them to the same place that I live in now.
The article, in the January 2013 edition of Readers Digest, was called "Our Great Gift" by Anna Quindlen. The parts of this article that made me smile the most were as follows:
"Life is made up of moments, small pieces of glittering mica in a long stretch of gray cement."
"We have to teach ourselves how to make room for them [moments], to love them, and to live, really live."
"I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that this is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get."
Our lives are so short, as I learned on January 2, 2012. Life is precious, and after pullng my head out of grief to spend time learning what it meant to really see, to pay attention to the world around me, I realized that moments need to be realized, remembered, and experienced.
Although I believe this, I am finding it hard to step away from what is taking up my time and causing me major stress, and to do what I need to do for my family. It is amazing how quickly we can revert to old ways of living, thinking we need to be able to do everything that presents itself to us, instead of knowing when to say no, enough is enough, I just cannot do anything else at the moment.
I pray that today I can find the energy to step back and look at what I am doing with my life, my family, and my time, and to make the right decisions not just for me, but for those that are most important to me.
I challenge everyone to take that step back, and to look at what takes up your time. If it is not something that has meaning to you - true purpose - them maybe it is time for you to make a change.
Change takes courage, and it is something that I find doesn't necessarily get easier with time.