Truly this question is not for all of you, but sent to me from many of you.

I am here, but not HERE.

I am being focused, but differently.

I am present, but absent.

But I am okay, and thank you for asking.

I have followed the paths of many "life-stress" bloggers such as myself.  People that had no plan to be online, writing about their lives, their pain, their worries or their fears.  People that end up pushed to the front of the line for whatever trauma may have hit them, and at the front of that line, they begin to speak.

Some speak to ask for help, while others speak to communicate.  Others speak out of loneliness and out of fear.  I found myself speaking to inform, and that information posting led me to the path of sharing.  I believe that my sharing saved my soul from infinite pain; the support and kind words gave me what I needed to wake up each morning and get on with what I had to do.

Like with everything else, life does go on. And eventually the bloggers may find themselves over it -  the usefulness of the blogging fades away, and the posts begin to space out, longer and longer time between each one, until the blog fades away.

I haven't faded away, but I did fade.

Too many things happened in too short a time, and even I, the one who thinks they can handle anything, couldn't handle it. Too much for me, too much for anyone.

I am here, and I am back.  I will be blogging more about brain injury, our life and stories, and where the world is going with individuals living within this new life. I have more speaking engagements lines up, I am open for meetings and appointments, and I look forward to hearing from all of you.

Thank you for your patience and your worry. Una Stamus

Wisdom  imparts itself on us when we least expect it.  Tonight, as I don't find sleep coming to me easily, I think of all of the wisdom I have gained in the last few years, learning not only from others, but from myself. I know my blog has usually been either brain injury related, or Frank updated related, but today it is reflection, based on life, and to ease my busy mind, I am writing it down.

This weekend was another time of gifts - time for giving and receiving, sometimes at the exact same moment.  I was given another honor this weekend, in that I was asked to speak tot he 2015 graduating class of physical therapists from the University of MN.  I considered this a high honor, for two reasons - one, that I was chosen to impart wisdom to these new therapists, and two, that they thought a speech therapist was the perfect candidate for the job. Although amusing, I took my  job seriously, and felt that it was important for me to pass along some of the  wisdom that has been handed to me these several years.

In my speech I talked about the gift of giving our time to others, and seeing people, as people.  Both of these pieces of advice have been blessed on to me and my family, and I want others to know that although simple, they carry a great deal of weight. When giving time to others, we are telling someone that they are worthy, that they deserve to have time given to them, which in turn can be the biggest gift of all.

In spending time with those student this weekend, I hope they know that their time has value, and when giving it to their patients, they give their patience that value as well. It is time well spent.

The wisdom of supporting and giving to others may be difficult to see sometimes, and I find that the flow of those around me is shifting again as we make another large change in our lives.  Although I could not imagine leaving our home, we will be doing so in the near future, to a different house, with the focus being to keep the family together, and give one another the space needed to make that happen.  I find myself sad by this change, although excited for a new adventure.

But sometimes I wonder how many new adventures I can take in this lifetime. Life is certainly not predictable - but I am fairly certain no one promised me that it would be. I think of those around me sitting within a storm of change as well, and I can only give them the wisdom that I have been given; change happens, life continues, and we get to choose how we respond to those changes.  Our response to the change is what makes us who we are - so what do you choose?

I choose to figure it out. I choose to make plans and stick by them.  I plan to honor my commitments and my pledges. I plan to work at this life, even when it is really hard to see the road ahead.  I choose to believe that my life has meaning, and to give my all to making my life meaningful.

I choose to move forward.

Police Week 2015 has just ended. Another week of honor and service remembrance for those gone too soon while serving their towns, state and country. The honor they deserve in a time when life as a law enforcement officer is more than a little complicated.

Typically, I am full of words to describe what I see, what I hear and how I feel during this time.

This year I struggled.

I am not sure why this has been so hard this year. Maybe it is because Frank is officially retired as an officer; maybe it is because I am watching so many of my close friends in law enforcement struggle with their jobs, their families and with their friends; maybe it is because life is just harder these days.

I watched the videos, the honor guards, the traveling of law enforcement officers as they biked across country, joining others until a contingent of officers crossed thousands of miles on the ride of a lifetime – honoring the fallen, and the injured in their wake. It is truly a time for law enforcement to band together and bring hope, strength and community to one another.

At a time when many communities are not supporting their law enforcement officers.

People are people. I support individuals with integrity and honor whether they are black, brown, white or blue. I could care less what people do for a living, how much they make, or if they want kids or don’t want kids.

I connect with, and spend my time with, people that treat others with respect.

Police Week means something different to me now these days – so many killed in the line of duty. So many families devastated by loss. And although families of injured officers are truly meant to be a part of the process, most feel left out, abandoned by their former families, and that makes it doubly hard to watch, listen and grieve with them.

I would say that we don’t feel abandoned, although little communication with Frank’s previous department is sad at times – we try not to talk about it. They must move on – we know and understand that. But we have many others that reach out, check in and truly want to keep in touch, and that allows us to feel less separated from law enforcement than many of our friends across this country.

Why is it that the injured are left alone? Why is it that the true meaning of Police Week, to include all injured officers, is not heard loud and clear alongside those that have lost their lives?

I don’t have those answers.

My heart hurts a bit for everyone – no one understands more about loss and grief than all families within the thin blue line. The brothers and sisters lost, the injured surviving pain and hardship, along with the loss of so much; the families torn apart and trying to pull themselves back together.

Next year it is probably time that we make the journey across county to honor those that have been lost. And while we are there, maybe spend some time talking about those that walk among us, still living in the shadows of the thin blue line, wanting to continue to be part of family, but sometimes just not knowing how to make that happen.

I think it is time.